Mary Alice!

We certainly so have ALOT in common (which is either good or bad, depends on how you wanna look at it, ha). I am really dreading that conversation with my Pdoc. Last time I was talking to him about my basically giving up and slacking on taking my medication because I was pretty hopeless that it was working (and still am for the most part) he also pretty seriously suggested putting me in inpatient. I don't know why I;m so scared of that, but I'm terrified to even think about it. I'm sorry about your arm. I;m right there with you. It's been getting bad lately, and it's beginning to take over my life in more ways than it used to. I do feel like I've lost control. When I told my T that my cutting actually scared me, soe told me that she was scared for me because I myself was scared. She said that this loss of control can definately be extremely bad since most cutters tend to maintain a conscious control over it (at least in her experience.) She didn't really give me any homework, although your T's idea does sound like a good plan to get a picture on the reasons behind it. My only problem is that I seem to completely lose what I am feeling while I do it, and therefore don't even know why I'm doind it. Perhaps I'll try. She never suggested that I had to stop. She was telling me that basically my two options were to try & stop on my own, or go into inpatient where that wouls make me stop. Neither seems appealing. I will indeed be thinking of you, as we both seem to be stuck in the same trench, but it's nice to not be alone.

<3<3 -Kelly