My father died of a heart attack suddenly 18 years ago. I was 19 years old. We had a complicated, acrimonious relationship at the time.

But even after such a long time, I still cry and feel so sad when I think of it and when the anniversary approaches, as it does now.

My concern is that I suspect it shouldn't still feel so raw and have thought this for some time............

I am currently suffering a depressive episode, triggered by difficulties at work, and the therapist I see for this seemed so shocked by the intensity of my emotions about my father when we talked about him at our last session and also when I told her that I have a ritual where I write a letter to him each year on the anniversary. She looked at me as if I was bit of a freak when I said this.

Is this really odd?

This has prompted me to post cos I am interested in finding out if this is "OK" or should I be over it by now. If so, how do I "get over it" and feel less troubled at this time of year.

Any advice would be gratefully received. To feel less pain would be such a relief so any way to ease my sense of grief would be a blessing.