I work I force myself to go to work I was unemployed for a very long time couldn't keep down a job due to the children and being in temp housing not being able to afford childcare and having to live on social security. I am afraid of ending up back there being depressed did not help. I have never felt I fit in. I feel like this all the time even with my relatives they dont know I feel like that and on the outside there is not indiction of how I have always felt. I have only confided that to a few people and they cannot believe I have those feelings as all they see is a confident person but thats not how I feel inside. I avoid situations and spend a lot of time alone. I am very lonely but too scared to mix Its so stressful.