toughie Im no therapist but maybe there are more issues behind how you react when you feel hurt? I know when I get hrut it has a huge emotional cost to me. Although I dont lash out...I internalize it and cause myself more damage and harm then i could ever inflict on anyone else.
Only one person I know Of I react instantly...an thats because I have complete trust with them. SOmethign I dont know Ive ever had so I feel "ok" honestly reacting.
Sounds like there might be other issues behind your reactions ccause it sounds liek you dont liek them either....were your parents highly critical of you or an ex? I dunno...just trying to help , sorry if it wasnt much help