((((((belle))))))remember when we're depressed everything seems bleak. i'm glad u're going back to your T. talking about these feelings will help. we don't think of you as a failure...you are a person of worth and value.  sending hugs your way.... 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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