hi distressed, i'm glad you've been feeling better.
the first question i have is are you seeing a T? some of your concerns, i.e. abuse, could be helped better with one,imho. i'm sure you feel emotional scars that resulted from this happening to you. a T's guidance would make the difference i think.
secondly it sounds like you would benefit from making some friends. 10 years is a long time to feel alone and probably lonely.
some ideas:
i did this by going to barnes and noble and sitting down with a book that interested me. sure nuff i made friends and they had similar interests as me or they wouldn't have been at a book store. lol. my T had suggested this and it worked.
i also took walks around my neighborhood and as i saw someone in the yard i'd say hi. some good friends were made that way too.
there are lots of interest groups listed in the newspaper. find some that you have an interest in...perhaps you could check some out and make friends too.
next: i think you may have too much time on your hands to think. when i ruminate i can find all kind of things to worry about. so for me, keeping busy helps. like find a hobby like gardening. or whatever interests you but it helps if a part of it is physical.
so my spin on it is this....therapy coupled with some outside activities that you spark. between the two i feel, since it's helped me a lot, you will find your phone ringing or you're going out that you will not have time to allow negativity to have rent space in your head!!!
i hope this helps. it's basically what my T helped me with and sometimes now i wish my phone would stop ringing!!!
ps i don't think anything is wrong with you...i think it's just a part of being human.