I really am not so sure if it's closeness as maybe I am feeling the need to back off from the relationship. I am afraid of her coming home and then me losing her cause I know how serious her attempts have been and how she feels about ending her life. I don't know how to feel besides anger when I talk to her or am around her and I am the one that I guess is picking her up tomorrow, if she comes home tomorrow that is.

Right now I feel so fricken dirty I have to go and scrub myself till I "feel" clean.

thanks,
jen