so im back again. i'm trying really hard to love my husband. we are spending time together and doing more activities that we have in a while. this is partly to us both being unemployed and him having a break from school. but i don't feel anything more than friendship toward him. i don't like when he tries to be intimate. it just doesn't feel right. the worst thing is i think its because i have feelings for someone else. that relationship isn't possible because of distance and his lack of trust in women. my husband thinks i am just not interested in sex at all, but how can i say that isn't true since i do have those feelings just not for him without hurting him.

i brought up divorce the other week. he doesn't think we should and that we should both keep trying. we both have depression and i'm seeing a T and we both have been figuring out meds for the last 6 months or so. i was sooo in love with my husband for 7 years, why did it dissapear? why can't i get over the little things that now add up and make me want to start a new life without him? why can't i forget about this other guy? why can i only think about having kids with the other man and not my husband?

i just wish some of it made sense. if i could go back to loving my husband i think it would be ok, but i don't know if i can.