Thanks for the input, y'all. I haven't picked up a bug, and seeing my old PCP is out of the budget, too. My old pdoc is doing what she can, like loading me up with samples of my costly meds...and I'm saving up an emergency psycho fund so I can pay for a visit when I really need one. She wrote my boss a letter telling him no more nights, but here I am...I guess I'm going to have to quit--I'm not going back to the hospital for that job.

I have felt kind of agitated and not quite "real" the past few days, like I'm not quite attached to the world, if that makes any sense. It has really been pretty bad today. I have stayed awake, at least, but sometimes I have to lay down, take a Xanax and try to relax my way out of my nervousness. I feel really alone (hell, I AM really alone), no one calls except my ex when she wants me to watch the girls so she can go out with her buds...

The folks at NAMI here have a 'warm line" to call, and I probably will at some point...It's just hard to believe that after nearly 50 years on this earth that there is no one who cares enough about me to call up every now and then...but I guess I haven't made a lot of calls myself.

Thanks for caring, y'all (Yes, I'm a Southern Boy at heart). I'll be talking to you soon!

Peace,
DJ