Ahhhhhh Kelly, as I read over your response to mine and Wendy's post, all I could think of was how much we think alike. I also have things researched and planned down to exactly how and when.

I have a hard time lying to my T, I try to avoid answering him and of course, after all this time, he knows me very well. Which is why I was in the hospital in Sept.

I know what you mean by not remembering why you cut......I'm the same. I just seem to do it and then afterwards can't remember a thing about the feeling or circumstance before it (it's almost like having amnesia, isn't it?) He doesn't understand when I tell him that nothing triggered it, I just did it.

I know if I wasn't so tired today I would be cutting also. I have to let my arm heal for work purposes which is going to be very hard on me. I have to keep it wrapped up when not at home, with antibiotic ointment on it. At least I can't continue what I started with it covered up.

When I was in the hospital I was hyper because of my son. I was on 10 min. checks which were horrible and they kept the bathroom locked at all times. After I was let off of that, it wasn't that bad......course I was "pretending" to be fine since I needed to get out and be with my son.

You're never alone.........we're in the same spot together, be it a trench or a rowboat

Try to take care.

Mary Alice