There have been times - usually after very hard sessions - when T will catch my eyes (I tend to look all over the place a lot). When that happens, I am so emotionally drained and feel so alone... on such a deep level... on that pre-verbal level. Somehow it is like my T is scooping me up with his eyes and just holding me in a safe way. It is almost like he is giving me what my father could not give me in a healthy way. When that happens, I feel so afraid that he will drop me... wow - flashback just happened - Dad did that to me a lot - the dropping me and catching me - the game parents play with kids I guess. Wow. ugggs...

Well, it feels like he holds me without dropping me and it lasts for several seconds... sometimes maybe a whole min. Maybe not. But it feels different inside. It is like he holds the gaze until I somehow know I am safe and then he releases it. It always makes me smile. I feel like T loves me without saying a word. That it is safe and he is not going to harm me.