Yes, I do this with T.

I always look away first...which makes me feel like he is willing and able to be there for me for as long as I need him to.

I feel like I am searching for something...the fact that he's there, that I can trust him, that he's real, that he will let me in.

Sometimes, like in my most recent session, I will say something that will make T teary-eyed, and I will look into his eyes for a long time, because I want to understand it - the willingness to feel so much, to be so honest, to not be afraid.

Looking deep into T's eyes has meant a lot of different things at different times. It's scary and healing. It seems like a lot of things that are healing are scary.