Quote:
Originally Posted by salukigirl
I'm sorry but that sounds a little uptight and not plausible or realistic. My sister has told me that she wishes the same thing but knows she wont accept it from her mom. So I'm NOT going against the wishes of her parents.
Doing illegal things? She's going to get arrested for having a sip of wine with a family member? And how you do know I don't have to deal with the fall out? She is my niece and there is no way that I wouldn't experience any of the things that come along with it, nor would I want to be left out of it.
I have been to jail, did my time and paid my debt to the community. I have drank, smoked, smoked pot, snuck out of the house, ran away etc...... and guess what....I graduated with honors with a BS in Zoology and a minor in Chemistry while working two jobs. I am in grad school with a 4.0. How did this whole drinking/drugs thing become a stereotype for people who are morally corrupt and just overall terrible people?
Y'know what....this was a mistake to post this on here apparently. I was looking for some open minded comments but it doesn't look like I will get them. I don't need to be called an immoral person or to be made out like a bad person because of my life choices. Drugs do not equal morals.
What happened to doing typical teenage things and getting in trouble? I was under the assumption that was part of growing up - the fun part.
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How about a reply from the flip side? My parents allowed us (my brother and I) to drink small amounts of wine and occasionally other things at home. My father thought it would do two things...make us both aware of how to handle alcohol when it was presented to us at places outside the home, and as he worked in the wine industry, we always had "good" wine...his idea was that we (I) would acquire a taste for "good" alcohol and therefore would not be a "cheap drunk" when dating. Well this backfired in a big way. My brother was an alcoholic by 22. I fared better, but was a very heavy drinker in late high school and did not even go to college. I am just now finishing my BS at 41. My parents also allowed us to try a few drugs at home. Neither of us had a problem with that, but I am on my 5th attempt at quitting smoking.
The bottom line is your niece doesn't want to do these things. While this may not be a moral issue for you (which is fine), apparently it may be for her. Encouraging her to do something she does not want to do has the potential to damage your relationship with her. Do you want that? Wouldn't it be better to let her grow and mature, and make her own decisions? If she goes off to college and does run into trouble...step in then.
As an aside...there are studies indicating that even very small amounts of alcohol have a damaging effect on the adolescent developing brain...which continues to develop well into the 20's. I don't have time to cite them as I am about to leave for classes...but a quick data base search will pull hundreds of articles.