petra
Stay in touch with your doc about your headaches.
See if your husband is open with meeting with your doc or T to explain to him that bipolar is an ILLNESS and not something that "everyone has". You can't "snap out of it" if you have diabetes, you can't just "change the way you think" yourself out of a broken leg. Tell you husband he may in danger of having the latter if he doesn't "change his thinking" about your illness (just kidding

)
Explain to him that while he may not want to get out of bed on some days, when this happens to you the chemicals in your brain make it overwhelmingly difficult for you to "change your thinking" which is why this is a diagnosable illness and not just a case of willpower.
Don't let your families comments contribute to your feelings of being angry, suicidal, etc. These things are all bad enough side effects of the depression... you don't need them to reinforce those feelings.
Come here for positive support and understanding.
See if you think my page at
http://www.idexter.com/understanding/depression/ might help him to understand. There is a link to my pdf about halfway down the page. I wrote it about depression but it applies to bipolar as well.
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-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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www.idexter.com