deli, maybe this place of acceptance is a good thing? For me, I have awful tics (head-jerking, blurting out certain words, etc) sometimes when I am very anxious. My ability to control them seems to come and go. Sometimes they are extremely embarrassing. But the less anxious I am about them, the less worried I am about whether they will go away, the better they are! But I can't TRY so hard to make them better, or they will come back with a vengeance!! Maybe it is similar with depression? Anxiety is my biggest problem, but when I get depressed, it's somewhat similar -- if I am not willing to feel depressed, I will stay depressed even longer because I get depressed about being depressed about being depressed.. and so on.

Here's a pretty awesome little Khalil Gibran quote that I find helpful when facing pain.. maybe you will like it.

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.