dear Bugged,,, i heard this story once, it has stayed with me since: an "Upright Citizen" saw Mother Theresa tending to the homeless sick and dying, oozing with open sores and other diseases, and they asked her: "How can you bear to touch those people ?" and that Woman replied to them: "They are Christ, in his most Distressing Disguise". one tries to see the good in all others, no matter how they present themselves, not always very successfully, but intently and with unending perserverence. those who torment us are often in great pain and suffering themselves, they do not need our reprobation or distain. and we don't need to generate those feelings, either. who know "WHY" the world is the way it is,, the real question is "What can i do to be at peace with the way things are?" one more thought i will leave you with, i think you will understand it well,, as you say, we are so willing to help: "Wanting is not cured by Getting, but by Giving." i believe you are on the path to a great understanding, and i wish you a swift journey. Gus