I AM SO MAD. I told my husband last night I couldn't take it any more. All he did was watch TV and tried to hold me. He said..why dont you go and see your kids and family instead? I just looked at him crying.

That was it,. He wanted to unwind and talk about his crappy day, there is a storm coming blah blah blah, He also tole me he has a job painting house this weekend for extra cash which means I will still be all alone.

I think this is the perfect time for me to just do it. I am afraid to drive myself because it is almost a 57 MILE drive and I know I will be very upset, scared and nervous while driving. Plus they are going 2 ask that famous one question when i admit myself....we all know what that is and when they ask me how I got there I am afraid that telling them I drove myself under the influence of my meds and state of mind will get me in legal trouble.

I am going to explode. I don't have even one friend here to take me, I am locked in hell with no way out. I am scared, lonely and so ANGRY!

I love my husband, I don't want any one to think he is a bad man because he's not. But he is very self centered and he doesn't own up to that. Is my life not important even to my husband just because we can't afford the daily co_pay???? My shrink told me that if I do admit myself there are ppl there that I can talk to about not being able to pay so in my mind there is help out there for the poor.

What do I do? All I do at home is sleep, over medicate, watch tv, drink lots of coffee and cry. Then when my husband comes home I have to listen to ALL ABOUT HIS DAY. I feel like a child, not a wife any more. I am so scared to go in but also afraid of NOT going in.

Why wont he listen? Oh he also told me last night that for the next 3 weeks on his days off he will be helping a friend painting houses for extra cash. Yes I am grateful but that means even MORE time alone for me.

I am going to crack. I can't hold it together any longer. tonight I MUST make him listen to me or it will be to late.

I am so miserable. I wish that were me in the picture u all see with my signature. Jesus holding me and all is well now.