Listen to Innerzone. He IS HOLDING YOU. If this is how you feel, see if you can get anyone to take you to the hospital. Anyone, rather than risk yourself. And another thing, dearest midnight soul, it never has to be too late. I am basically here because I am such a procrastinator, I kid you not, the crisis WILL pass. He is with you, but make sure you get the help you need to see this one through.
It sounds like your hubby is very scared. I don't think he can bear to think of things been as bad as they are. Mine wil sometimes do the same thing. DO NOT MISTAKE THAT AS NOT LOVING, but that means you will have to make sure you get cared for yourself. Talk to T or a s"#¤% hotline if you have to, ask the hospital about indigent aid, what ever, GET SAFE FIRST: HUGGGGGGGGS. you are in my prayers.