IWANTTOBENORMAL, yes, it is scary to see a doctor about mental health problems, but it will help you feel better. Records have to be kept, but they are confidential between you and your therapist. There are legal requirements when records are required by a judge, but in your case it sounds like it is more important for you to get help than worry about a big legal case coming out of your visit with a therapist. If you are planning on hurting yourself, then talking to a therapist may help you to go in another direction with your life. If you are still feeling bad, a doctor can prescibe medication that will help you feel and sleep better while you work on your problems. Sliding fee scales can help with costs or a certain number of mental health visits may be available through a health plan. It is most important right now for you to put aside your fears and get help for yourself from a professional.

I think that finding a therapist that you feel comfortable with can make a big difference in your life. Not only will this person listen to you but they will help you find your way out of the darkness and despair you feel right now.

Take care and post again soon.
Alesis