Miss Laura, do you have a safety plan, some plan as to who you can contact and what to do when you feel like this? It sounds like you are in a mixed episode love and you need to calm down. It's not us you're lying to, dear, it's you, and you just can't do that with this disease. Please call your pdoc. See what you can do. Maybe it won't be so bad as to need to leave work right away. Just let soemone know how it is so that you aren't so alone. HUGGGGSSSSSSSSS