{{{{{Elana}}}}} sadly, much of our early childhood conditioning is around "social roles",,, sounds like you got a double dose of this. what do you think would happen if you were to go back and imagine you were being prepared for a job, an education, a career ? say the things to you that you know would be appropriate for that life, imagine yourself growing up with parents who say those things to you, and support you in that ? guided, even self-guided imagery is a very powerful tool for rebuilding lost or never gained life skills. wishing you the best,, in your Quest~!! Gus