Hey....

I feel BRILLIANT now..... CONFUSED YES SO AM I!!!

I spoke to my friend..... she knows some of the things thats going on but not everything as I couldn't get it all out so I had to just be happy to know that she knows and has spoken to me and listened to me.

I don't have a safety plan. I have never actually thought about that. I know I have a few people I would contact if I was really not good. I know I could contact my GP Surgery during the day if needs be.

I am struggling to cope with the no lying thing. I don't know why I need to lie. I lie to people cause I don't want to hurt or let people down. But then I don't want people asking me questions. My friend tonight asked me how my mood diary was going and how the counselling was going. She said she knows I am not telling eveyone everything and she knows I am not writing it down either. I said I am and I am trying to be honest. She just looked at me. Its frustrating.

Work doesn't know as I am just putting my mask on. I can hold on until end of next week. I am off on holiday as of Sunday 17th