I'm 15, yes young, and was caught up in a long distance relationship for a year and 4 months. It was off and on and I realize now that we were never really compatible, but I was always the sucker for the damaged boy and he was a real cling on. It came to a point, this past September, where everything he did practically infuriated me, but I liked him, or at least I felt safe with him. But then on Saturday I found out he had been cheating on me since August 14th with my last best friend, who I had also stopped talking to in a very long time -- she's had a habit of taking all my boyfriends. She's admitted that she's never liked them, that she only does this to mess with me, but though this has happened three times before with this guy, he refuses to believe.. and treats me like ****.

Now I kind of like him, it's going away as I see what a pathetic fool he is. I mean she's 12. She's insecure, doesn't let him talk to ANY girl. Her intentions are so clear, but he's blind. It's sickening.. She's vulgar, perverted, she's sent naked pictures of herself, yet a master at using her words to manipulate any guy into falling for her.. into making any girl be her friend. I am so tired, of her ********, but she wont leave me alone! It's been three years she's been doing this kind of thing to me, maybe to other girls as well, but primarily it seems to me, and I am sooo tired of it. She won't leave me alone, will make up fake fb accounts to get to the guys I go out with, will get her friends to add me so she can talk to me, get on ppls accounts.

I mean it's just so tiring, I wanted to put the past aside, have a casual relationship with my pathetic cheating ex.. yes I will admit I enjoy watching him make a fool of himself but I'm not making it known, but shee wont allow it. Besides we made a promise to each other that no matter what happened we'd be friends and well he's kinda kept that promise though he's being a bit of a jerk, I mean he's TURNING INTO HER. He acts JUST like her, which is SOOO unlike himself, it's sickening!!

I don't know why it affects me so much, why I get so mad, and jealous. I tell myself I didn't like him. He was skinner than I, yet taller than I was so severely underweight. He was over emotional, sensitive, lacked back bone, vulnerable. He would do anything you told him to. I didn't find him THAT physically attractive and yet.. every night I would dream of him, every moment of everyday I would day dream about him, no matter who I was with I pretended that he was there too, thinking about what it was like when we meet. I might not have been the best gf, as I am battling depression, and anxiety, stress, whatever, but I can't see how this can be from karma at all. I mean my exbff claims it's my karma, but I feel it's just her being a *****face.

I'm sorry, but why the hell is he so blind? Even his friends IN REAL LIFE, liked me more than her, they all said I was better, I was nicer, prettier, and quite a few of them hate him for what he did to me, and I NEVER EVEN MET THEM.

Sorry, this is, the first time I've ever been cheated on in my life, my first time really having serious feelings for someone, having a somewhat serious yet longdistance online relationship and it's just hard to know how to deal with it. I was horrible for a few days, I felt so bad, I considered overdosing on my dad's medication, was so desperate to feel better, for it all to end.. remember i am depressed here. But then I changed around and felt so good about myself, I felt pretty, and smart, and just better than I ever had, and now because my ex is just being a *****face and ignoring me and saying this, which is so unlike him, that he likes me AND her and he wants me to stay single for him while he's with her. Basically either he wants us both, or i'm miss.backupplan.. it just makes me so mad.

I wish I could just.. throw knives at them :l or cans of frozen soda, pumpkins even. Anything hard, to crush them. I can never act upon this cause they live so far away but if there was a way just to do it, I feel like I would.

He goes back to normal when he's not talking to her, when he's at school, but during the evening he wont STOP talking ABOUT her, and he acts just like HER too. It's like he has two personalities. Who I know him as, and who he acts like to please her.

I just need to get over it, though I'm not sure how.. Sorry for the rant and thanks for sticking with me all the way to the end if you've made it this far. I just needed to let it out