So last week I had a very intense session with T- admitted some things about growing up. T laughed and responded- well, I'm glad YOU said that first! It was tough, but helpful. T suggested I not dwell on it and urged me to come back next week.

Then I had some difficulties that night- was looking for jobs, and one was posted in the town where a former abuser lived. Before I knew it I was googling him, and really was triggered. Realized at work the next day I was off center when I was just snapped at a customer service person, so I figured I should do a quick check in call would be good. THat was Friday.
Tough weekend with my girl- very reactive about schoolwork, lots of yelling and drama. She also refused an immunization she needs for school its just very stressful.

On Monday, I recieved a call from her secretary saying "T got your message and will call later in the week". Tuesday I was pretty reactive and easily triggered, and not happy about all the ways I handled it. But thought 'she will call'. Wed no call, I almost called but thought, no T is tomorrow, I'll be fine.
Today the secretary called to cancel our scheduled appt. Only times she is available next week are two days during my work hours. So no appt until Oct 21st. The secretary said there is some family emergency, she wasn't even sure if T would be back to her regular schedule then. So I've gone from noticing I'm off balance to really being off center to being fairly okay again.

Now I know T's emergency is not about me, so I'm trying to be thoughtful about my reactions. Part of me wants to say "what's the use? I tried to reach out, you weren't there- forget it!" And I think I trust T, but in then I think "Maybe this isn't real, maybe she is setting this up."
Perspectives, anyone??