Fuzzy-

I have been in the same place you are, and it is definately the depression talking. I could have written that same thing just before my many crashes. Try to take a deep breath, and then try to reach our for help. Not just here, though we all will try to help as much as possible, but call a therapist, a hot line, your family doctor, a clergy, whom ever. You really do sound like me prior to my crashes, so I hope you can muster the strength to get some professional help to get you to a point where depression isn't totally controlling you.

I hope this helps and doesn't make things worse for you. Hang in there, and try to be strong.

Love to you
bren