Thank you both.

I have found it really hard at work today. Not least because the complaints officer from the hospital called me today. He was very nice but I still found it hard and was in tears on the phone. He said that the doctor wanted me to go to the follow-up appointment so that he could clarify and apologise. He also said that the community psychiatric nurse wanted to speak to me so that he could explain the decision of the panel. I said I didn't want to talk to that CPN again as I had been so upset but would talk to his superior who my counsellor was in touch with to try to make things easier. I also said I would think about attending for another hospital appointment but I was really scared to do so because the last experience was so bad. (It also necessitates me taking time off work which is never easy). I still don't know what to do. The officer said that maybe it would be better if I saw the consultant rather than the junior doctor I last spoke to. He said the problem with not referring me for psychotherapy was the long waiting list, and I asked whether that would stop someone from being referred for a hip replacement if they needed it. I pointed out that I have battled depression, on and off, for nearly 30 years now and I needed a different level of support. So I am now going to have to wait to hear from the CPN team leader and try to think what I should do about the appointment, which (if I keep it) would be in a couple of weeks I think.
Finding things very hard and have done a lot of crying at work today. Fortunately not in front of the students. At the moment my class is doing a maths test and I really don't feel able to concentrate on doing any of the multitude of jobs I really should do.
I can't cope with feeling this tired all the time.
C