yup, you're on the mark about the abuse. i was verbally abused which led to physical abuse. this hubby of yours has no right to speak to u this way, imho. i'm not going to sugarcoat it cause it is what it is. abusers will identify people they instinctively know they can abuse. they are actually cowards acting like bullies. i bet he never talks to some big guy like that. it's not your fault, you have done nothing to "deserve" this treatment. however once you know you are being verbally abused is the time to tell him to stop it period. no one who loves another would talk to anyone this way.
i'm concerned for you cause the signs are already there. the things you mentioned are classic sayings of an abuser. he can only feel puffed up if he's putting you down. not acceptable!!!
i am hoping you have a therapist that you can discuss this with. you will need hands on suggestions from a professional imho to learn how to handle this. it could easily go to physical without some helpful suggestions. i urge you to seek help. the verbal abuse will eventually put you in a position where you start believing him. that is part of the statedgy to cause you to lose self.
i wish i could tell you otherwise but you are precisely right about him.