Sounds like you're having a bad day, to put it in a nice way. You may feel alone now, but there are those of us on here that understand where you are coming from, and we are hear to listen to your fustrations. I for one, do the si to not do much worse things but, it's still not good for anyone. It's good that you have your kids, you are valuabale, and we all want you to do well in life. So it sounds like support will maybe happen but, for some of us here this is the support that is needed, the support of those going through it. We are all here to help in anyway that we can. If you need to talk, just PM me and we can arrange a time that is good for both of us. But don't worry this is life, we get back only what we put into life. If we want to live then we start to do the things that will help us, but if we want something else then, the result is not good.

Just keep in mind that the things that you mentioned are SI, and I hope the assessment goes well, Keep us posted. and remember things will get better, if you try to make them get better.