Mods, I have no idea if this should qualify for a trigger warning or not. Please add if needed.


Hi everyone,

I haven't posted in the forums for so long that I might as well be a noob. I do a lot of work behind the scenes here at PC, though. And I thought I had a handle on most of my "stuff," but I turned out to be wrong.

I have been sinking for awhile, but it's been especially bad the last couple of weeks. It culminated last night in some pretty bad SI. I could not possibly have cared less at the time -- in fact, it took everything I had to stop even after realizing I had probably overdone it. It's been years since I gave in, but now I can't remember why I quit....

Anyway, this morning when I woke up and got my first good look at the damage, my first thoughts were "^%$#@!" and "OMG, glad it's getting to be long-sleeved shirt weather." And then I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out how I'm going to hide it. Because obviously, there's no need for long sleeves in a climate controlled house, etc, and at some point, somebody is going to catch at least a glimpse. And they can't possibly be passed off as cat scratches.

So now I feel guilty, and horrible, and stupid, and ashamed -- all the while wanting to go do it some more, because I still need the relief. Anybody got any tips for me?



The artist formerly known as candybear (for those who may have known me then)