Hi Seventyeight,

Like the others said, it is really important to clearly define everyone's expectations beforehand.

A few months ago, my T offered to let me check in with her by email between sessions. It was really helpful at first and was the extra bit of encouragement I needed to keep going. She usually responded within one day. Although sometimes it took several days. And one time she didn't respond at all, even though I had asked her a question and requested that she respond. At the next session she said that she read the email but didn't respond right away, and forgot to respond later. That really hurt my feelings.

I am not finding the emails that helpful anymore, and I'm not sure if it is me, or her, or both of us. I get the sense that the emails are annoying her. She tells me not to 'mind-read' about stuff like that, but when I ask her directly I don't get a direct answer.

Anyway, to answer your questions:

what is emailing your therapist like?
It's nice to have the connection in between sessions.

what do you say?
I talk about the things I'm struggling with, maybe any small successes, sometimes I write about additional thoughts or insights I had about something we talked about in session. I've also written about dreams, and also current issues.

what to they say?
She usually responds with a few lines, mostly just encouragement and pointing out any cognitive distortions; she reminds me to use coping skills.
A couple of times she has responded with longer emails, and twice she emailed me first.

how often is it?
She said I could email as much as I wanted. I asked her if I could email her even 20 times a day? She said yes But I got the sense that she wouldn't respond to each one.

and is it helpful?
It was really really helpful at first. Lately it has been hard, but I am trying to stick with it. I don't have much of a support system in real life, so I need all the help I can get.

Sorry this is so long, but I hope it helps a bit.
Let us know what you decide to do!