Hi Yokus
I am so glad you felt safe enough to post here, I know it can be scarry.
You sound like a wonderful person with amazing strength, it is sometimes hard to see it in yourself.
The people here have been nothing but very caring, understanding and supportive.
I hope you are feeling better soon, and that you keep posting.
Getting to know you is a good thing, and I did not see this in anyway tat you were" winning ", Please don't think that you are, we can only give support etc. if we know howyou are feeling and that is important.
Take Care of your self, and just do what you can, it sounds like you are doing lots even if it does not seem like it.
You seem to have a lot of love and caring.