i too know it can feel bad before it gets better.... for me it has been a rough year with a couple of months of freedoms and life i have never felt every before in my life... then back to the darkness and then to find that same bright light came after it. I will fight any darkness to feel a light i have never felt.... i have been doing this a long time... every year the light days or months are different but so much better after a darkness... go for the fight.. go to the dark... u will find a light ad each time that light will become brigher... i promise...