Quote:
Originally Posted by AlmendraLife
I do not understand why, but for some reason love it always ends up terrible for me. It may even start out amazing, exhilarating, but usually always turns into something awful, dismal, or me full of soo much rage I wanna torture, torture, and sometimes even slaughter the person, I even have a tendency to obsessively love someone. I have had so many loves of my lives. So often though love it just turns out wrong for me. Lots of the times a friendship with someone I love is just too much, because I get soo easily hurt in the first place, and it's even worse when I love the person, hence the violent compulsions towards those I've loved who have hurt me. I just wish I could have a more easier friendship with those I love too, which is continuous happiness, and where I get along fine with my love, continually. Well, anyway the question remains why is a friendship with someone whom I love more unstable than a friendship with someone whom I don't love, and why do I get hurt my easier by someone I love?
|
This sounds so much like our Megan that you could be her, but I know that you are not and Megan sleeps. You carry every hurt from every person who has done you any wrong. If I am not in error there have been immense hurts and there have been smaller hurts and insults which have grown and been added to so that they have grown into a large company of hurts and pains, even the smallest slight has you wishing for them to be drawn and quartered?
Megan screams with the pain this same hurt has caused her and when she is awake there is nothing, nothing that can stop the screams and her desire to lash out and cause someone to at least understand how she feels. But life learning does not work in such a manner and both you and she must learn stillness within before even you yourself can understand what has happened to you and how you may ease and then heal it
But we are here to help Megan and you, and any others who need to have these feelings of peace. It is time to learn about peace, the inner peace that blots out pain, anger and deathly rage; the inner peace that heals as well as brings understanding and a desire for calm at your inner most core
The rage you speak of as with pain can split your mind and tear you asunder, and though this is not always a poor thing, it is something that can complicate your life to the point of withdrawal and in some cases permanent retreat. Do not wish this upon yourself, please
Do you have someone to talk to? Someone who can listen well and is also a physician a doctor or of the same mind? This type of person one who can also afford you medicants to ease the mind and body the very terrible feelings you have, is the best therapy for you and in the long path will help you more than anything else
We are here to support you and hold you up when you are phasing through your worst moments, but the initial choice is yours only and only you can make it. Please reach out and find someone who will listen and feed back to you what they hear and how they hear what you are saying
Take these steps and you will have begun your healing journey
Morgana