I don't know if I have the energy to change right now. I feel very depressed and just don't want to see anyone or go anywhere. I know people are thinking..."if you would just make yourself get out of the house...". But, I don't want to. Last nite I cried and rocked and hung on to my head board for so long until I finally fell asleep. I did the usual "wish I would die" routine and said and thought extremely negative things to myself. I know those words are demeaning, but it just felt good saying them. And then I put some ear plugs in my ears so I would not "hear" any outside sounds. There were no sounds, it just felt like the right thing to do. I am just whining here. Please let me vent and express myself without expecting anything out of me. Thanks for listening. P.S. I am going to a psych. and taking meds. They just don't work all the time when I get all messed up.