for me, it is the darkest void and i sit in the middle of the void. blackness all around me. there is nothing there but me. physically there is a heavy, heavy weight on my chest. i cannot concentrate. i only want to sit in a dark room. i cannot talk many times. it hurts my head to try. it is the loneliest feeling filled with unknown fears, doom and gloom, no hope, no hope, no hope. i can't eat. i can hardly move. everything is too much. i am paralyzed with everything in life. i cannot help myself. i cannot even try to think my way our of it. totally overwhelming. sometimes i cry and cry and other times i feel emotionless except for the things i just wrote. it's the loneliest place in the world.