Yeah, my dad tells me this all the time. When I burst out into tears last week he kept telling me that no one anywhere should be able to do this, should have that control over me, because I'm the only one who lets them do that, and I shouldn't let them have that control. It is going away now, but it took more convincing.

Oh I do agree that I will! I have another long distance friend, but one who is a guy and gay so there will never be any tension or anything as far as relationships or backstabbing, and he is just the best friend ever! He supports me and joins me when I go off into celebrity crush fangirl mode and pushes me to go out with guys in real life. He knows the whole situation and he reminds me that I'm gonna become a great person when I get older and I'll have real guys who love me and it'll be better than any long distance boyfriend. What's great about this friend is that in about a year or so, not too sure, he's coming to my city for university. He was also a friend of my exbf and my ex best friend but I think I got the better end of the deal here, lol. I got rid of a bad boyfriend, a bad friend and gained the bestest friend anyone could ever have!

I do feel a lot better as well. It was hard to get there though as I was being stupid and disobeying my friend's and Dad's wishes by talking to that ex, and eventually, my exs, well she broke up with him momentarily, and well HE thought it was my fault, and threatened to kill me and EVERYTHING. My Dad walked by and seen the curses on the screen and forced me to show him, and he brought a whole new light onto this situation, where if this kid threatens to murder me TWICE (which he did), and he has my name and address, well I could go right ahead and call the cops on him if I wanted. My Dad was going to too, and that brought out a new conversation, a very honest everything comes out conversation, where now nothing has been left out. My Dad could be a therapist, if he wanted to he studied psychology, and the hours we spent talking about this, really helped. It also made me realize that I have more control over the situation, and myself, than I realized. I didn't need to keep talking to him even though there was a promise and though my heart wanted to, my mind as said before, does know best.

Plus yesterday was my brother's birthday party and I got to see my family, I played video games with my brother, and today we're going out for "thanksgiving" dinner with said family, and while I'm having all this fun with my family enjoying the beautiful day that once past me by I think that, if I had still been with him, I wouldn't have enjoyed myself this much. I probably wouldn't have gone out at all. I would be stuck inside, in front of my computer, hurting over pixelated text. You know, I wouldn't have danced with my 4 year old cousins on the stage or ran around with my camera snapping pictures. I would be like them, still trapped in their world, in their minds, missing the days, isolating themselves away from the people who love them, their friends.. their still diseased, so to speak, where all this hurt, cured me.

It also helps that I had this site to let out all left over anger