so sorry to hear the news of your friend. i know this is a very difficult thing to accept and you will miss her. i've gone thru similar losses. it will take time to heal. just know i'm sending warm hugs your way. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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