all of these points are really good, and thank you.

i probably am getting ahead of myself, i tend to do that anyway but i guess i've felt recent pressure because of a conversation with a friend (a whole other story, and i've probably put the pressure on myself for the most part.)

i know that i DO need to do some more work on my own self esteem and continue growing. i can see now, if i step back, that i think she has been trying to make some changes. i hope that this will encourage us both to keep trying to continue to better ourselves and grow individually and as a couple.

again, thank you for clarifying