Thank you again guys, for reading and replying to my rants. I am going to TRY and take pics of my neighborhood, community etc and post them sometime this weekend??? no guarantees. My gardeners came today... really straighten the place up a bit... but didn't contract to remove the trunks and roots from the broken trees. That's ok.. they are probably too busy and I'm too stressed. I puttered in the back yard ... shouldn't have but it used to be so calming... now I only did 30 minutes and you know... walked deliberately, picked things up mindfully... correct posture not overdoing.. and I quit long before I really wanted to.. moved a few small dying plants (oh, the garderners took my plumbago... I guess it didn't make it.) then I took a hot bath (for muscles) and am on ice packs (for nerve endings) and... being here trying to chill. ..... not up to this.