Quote:
Originally Posted by Eileen2010
it's been a hell of a week...I'm up/I'm down...I'm never going back to T/I need to talk to him...etc. T actually called me towards the end of last week, he said " you didn't look like you were doing well when you left Tues, and I was concerned " ... of course I stuffed it, said " no, I am totally fine" ARG. Then he said " well I want you to know if you need support, you can call me". UGH...I don't want to lean on him, but I do want to. I don't like that he noticed how bad I was on Tues. I want him to ONLY know what I tell him. Is that stupid? See how I am? I will never get far in this T stuff, I am shut tighter than a cohog (big clam). So I have a standing on Tues...I want to cancel...but I don't want to cancel.  |
no, thats not stupid at all! people with trauma histories struggle with the exact same issues you are struggling with. you are most certainly not alone in your ambivalence....although, im not sure that information helps at all. i hope that you go on tuesday and talk about all youve shared here. it sounds like your therapist is tuned into you and wants to be of assistance. sharing all the inconsistencies and contradictions of all your very real thoughts and feelings will help him in that task...