I'm very tired today but that's to be expected because I bought a new home in another town (through insurance because I can no longer work due to mental illness) and going through everything one needs to do for a purchase and move and doing it by myself. I have to be so careful with my moods because like a lot of Beepers, once I get going on a task I don't like to stop, even if it leaves me overtired, elevated mood or panic and anxiety and sleeplessness which makes the cycle worse. It has all been happening to some extent and I have mini-breakdowns every few days. Then I have to totally back off for a few days and let my central nervous system slow down and let the adreneline reduce. I watch TV, DVD's, meditate and pray, lay down and listen to the radio etc.

The problem is that there ARE deadline dates involved and and I DO need to get a lot of things done.

Leaving this town is a very emotional thing because there have been terrible problems with family. It is great that I am leaving - it will be a big leap forward, but I still have grief for what I would have loved to have had in the way of my immediate and extended family.

I can't cry usually because of my huge amount of meds (the best meds mix I've had) and thast's sometimes when i really need to cry. The thing that usually triggers me to cry is a good chick flick or movie about emotions and life transitions. Well, I saw Eat, Pray Love yesterday (Sunday) and in won't give anything away but it wasn't even into the second half that a phrase was used that just sumed up exactly what I'm going through. So, of course I started balling there and then and cried through the whole movie. I stopped crying long enough to leave the cinema at ther end and get home. And then I had a huge huge cry. And it was the absolute best thing that could have happened. Great movie. Great timing.