I do know how you feel, I feel the same way, I degrade myself constantly.. Recently I was give a book called "The Four Agreements" By Don Miguel Ruiz. It is changing my life as I read it, I re-read & re-read untill I get it. I cant explain it, It is so personal that it is meant just for YOU. I am going through so much right now with med changes and trying to find a Dr. But in the mean time this book has really been a blessing to me. I hope you feel better, take care, Your friend Gutterflower