Since the break up.. I have had moments of lasting depression... sadness that just wont abate.. along with this is the moments of pure panic and anxiety.
I came off my anti-depressants while with Louis.. It was something that i was already considering before we started seeing each other andit seemed like a good idea as I didn't want to be on them with him, didn't want him to know about them I guess.

I now have moments of "smiles" (easiest way of descirbing it) but they are false most of the time... I just want to be on that stable level place again.
I don't really want to go back on the meds... they were a solution to a problem that I don't have anymore (suicidal feelings earlier in the year).. but maybe they made me feel better all round?

The panic and anxiety is worse than the depression but not by much.

I have a T appointment tomorrow... he doesn't really believe that I need the meds... sure it stops the highs and the lows but surely that is something I have in myself to control without needing to be on pills?

Just venting.. need to get this anxiety out of my head.

I hate feeling sad