Welcome, A Fine Madness! (sooo hear you on the seemingly smallest thing having the potential to set off a meltdown... )
Oh WendyAussie, yes on the crying thing. I seem to not be able to do it when really needed either (then doesn't it happen at unexpected times...) Hard to understand (remember when it first started with meds...quite disconcerting).

Such as... last night. Two phone calls, very short and cryptic, about an hour apart. First one was when the day went from really good (in fact was thinking, "wow, this is really a geniunely good day!") to... well, rather a nightmare. Anxiety, panicking with the unknown, swirling thoughts, wanting to cry and not being able to, not being able to know much and feeling helpless (though there were a couple concrete things that needed doing). Long story short (-ish) (and I don't want to go into detail)... BF got into... quite a bit of trouble. And the bits I was told just didn't make sense. HOURS AND HOURS (like... 10) till the details. And what started it all was... at a loss to describe it, all he could come up with was, "some kind of nervous breakdown or something". He doesn't remember much of it and it's shaken him quite badly. He's had some mental stuff, but nothing like this. Guess the "upside" of my BP has been the ability to empathize and assure. Guess that's something.

(I almost hate to even write about this, but it's kind of eating me up for not being able to talk about it with anyone without judgement. I love him dearly and could not bear a word against him (or "commentary" on mental things). Though I won't go into detail, I can at least assure you that no one was hurt or anything.)

So... today has been full of anxiety. Pretty shook up. Not about the mental stuff --that I get. It's the potential repercussions. At least there's a reason for the anxiety. Guess that's better than random. Sigh.