New here. Looking for some sound advice. The man I've been with for close to eight years has been having all the classic signs of PTSD. He has related to me many horrible childhood memories. Incest as well as others sexually abused him. We have gone through his rampant drunken stages and 6 months of rehab. I have had him removed from our home and I was instrumental in getting him rehab instead of jail time. He is a wonderful man but his horrible past has made him a non-stop rollercoaster. At 42 I have come to my end, my endurance for pain has hit it's all time record. I can not give much more and I feel guilty as hell. He is definetly in the stage of recovery that could well make his life better and than wham he retreats into the throes of denial. I have come to my limit and I don't know what to do. I absolutely love this man but, he won't take the risk of recovery and heal- but chooses instead to give into the addictions- the compulsions, etc. Talk about compulsions- other woman- sexual compulsions galore. I am so tired of forgiving, looking past it, being such a [censored] wonderful person. Do I not have a life? When does mine begin? Eight years he has said he wants to live not survive. I work. He doesn't. I feel incredibly sad for the life he had but, I, too, was sexually abused as a child and yes, it has taken many years to heal and I'm still not there but I feel so used and abused by his promises and the hope that someday he will get on with his life. I'm tired of it and feel like [censored] for not being better for him. Someone give me a clue. I even hate the fact that I can't be a better person for him. He needs so much. He needs me to be strong and unbiased through all of this. I just wish he would get professional help but, no. I am his therapist, best friend, lover, wife, mother, you name it and it is killing me. I have a daughter I want to be with and friends to go out with and I have nothing but this man's life. If I tell him- enough, am I abandoning him like the people in his life abandoned him? How can I tell him about the positive things that healing and recovery bring when I can't keep giving him all he needs? I'm at my tethered end. I'm choking on my own words. Are we here on earth to give ourselves to others? Where does my responsibility end for those who need me? Why is love just [censored] not enough???????