ive been fighting the urge to self-injure for some time...and even when i gave in it would be once and then i wudnt do it again for weeks...ive had stuff stressing me out lately and i was fighting the urge to cut ..but on sat nite i gave in (the urge was real bad), then again on sun afternoon, and mon night again but the last time the urge wasnt THAT strong. it was more like an act of self-indulgence, just for the heck of it, cause i'd done it twice already and it was easier. its tuesday night now and i want to do it again. this time cause the world seems like a very scary place and i feel AWFUL about everything ...i dont know what to do. there seems to be nothing else to do that'll help. i cant make the feeling go away, i feel scared of life, of everything. dont want to deal with anything just want oblivion and this seems like the best way. only im scared i'll become dependent on it again and it'll become an everyday thing.

i just feel like everything is falling apart. my entire world. might have to quit therapy too in less than a month so dont want to get too dependent on my therapist.

it feels like nothing is ok and its not just a transient feeling. ive been feeling like this for many days.

just dont know what else to do :s