Estee, there is a reason why you are doing this. You aren't losing your mind - you just haven't learned better ways to cope. That's what T is there for, to help you learn how to cope. Obviously you're not attention-seeking either, since you don't even want her to find out about the cutting. Maybe there are some people who assume it's for attention. I remember having to figure out that I must not be doing it for attention, since I was keeping it a secret, before I was ready to tell a t about it. There's a little voice though that tries to tell you lies about yourself. It's hard to counter that voice, because we're not used to speaking up for ourselves, even to ourselves, but maybe you could answer back and say good things, the truth, about yourself in response.