I'm not going to lie....I'm extremely confused by your post. If this is your biological mom you are talking about then suck it up. I am 23 and my mom still does this. I graduated from college with honors and am about to start applying for PhD programs but some times she still talks to me like I am in middle school. That's their job. I hated it years ago but I can guarantee you I will do the same thing with my kids.

Instead of focusing on bad things like that try to focus on the good times you two have together. Also, I'm wondering if maybe now after dealing with this for a while, you are going into those things with the defensive mind set being used to her talking like that. Maybe try consciously calming yourself and thinking of something that puts you in a good mood before you start your chores. You might find you hear her differently and react differently. And, if so, maybe she will react differently towards you too?