Welcome you sound like me when i first started posting. or rather before i started posting but after i got fed up with feeling abandoned by my husband emotionally. if you are going to walk away don't think of it as him "deserving all this grief" you have a right to be happy and feel appreciated. if you choose to walk away do it because you will be a stronger person and a happier person. i didn't walk away (well not yet) i had an affair. probably not the correct response, but i found someone to temporarily take the place of the emotional support i wasn't getting at home. it is hard to believe that "there is no amount of affection that will save me from myself" i have felt similar, but i have to believe that there is a way to over come that insecurity. i haven't always been so insecure but have grown more so due to my husbands lack of attention and caring. i have to hope there is a way for both of us to go back to feeling more stable and in control. him avoiding you is not a natural response for someone who cares about the other person. i realized how bad my marraige had gotten when we stopped hugging before we left the house or upon our return home. it got to where i didn't even miss it which was weird since for the 8 years we were together i always had loved the feeling of coming home to him or him coming home. i get told that the spark in relationships can dim and return. right now i hope that is true, and if not that i am strong enough to walk away