Thread: a rant by sarah
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Old Oct 13, 2010, 09:20 PM
Miracle1986's Avatar
Miracle1986 Miracle1986 is offline
feeling very alone
 
Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Lost in thought
Posts: 6,437
I know I'm a teen so I'm supposed to post in the "teen alters garden",
but I really need to get this off my chest and I feel more people will read what I have to say if I write it in here.
Sorry if I'm not supposed to write here, you can move it if you want.
(also, just a warning, I'm gonna talk about sex related stuff, no details though)

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I friggin' hate not having my own "outside" body!!!!

I hate the fact that the husband makes moves on me before he knows I am out...
I tell him it's me and he stops and walks away, but I still feel... icky afterwards... I don't know why.
I guess it's cuz he's like more than double my age. There was this one time, when him and Amanda were...
doing stuff, and I came out (by accident... it just happened... I don't know why we switched).
I was so freaked out that I didn't say anything until after it was over. He apologized a TON...
as if that would make me feel better. I felt violated!!! I know it wasn't his fault,
and I know that he would have stopped if I would have said it was me, but... I don't know...

And I really really really REALLY hate not being able to walk and do stuff on the outside like I can on the inside.
On the inside, I can run and jump everything like that, but not on the outside, cuz of the stupid cerebral palsy!!!
I hate having to use a freakin' wheelchair when I am out. MY legs work just fine! Grrr.... sometimes I feel like I am
trapped in this body. Not only because it doesn't look anything like my inside body, but it doesn't even work right!!!!

I swear... sometimes I just wish I could disappear from this body and never have to come back. They probably wouldn't even miss me.
Ugh... now I'm just playing the world's tinyest violin ...
I know nobody wants to hear about my pathetic sob story, so yeah... I'm gonna shut up now.
to waste your time and take up space with this thread.

From: a freakin pathetic and emotional sarah
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It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.

Last edited by Miracle1986; Oct 13, 2010 at 09:36 PM. Reason: adding an apology
Thanks for this!
Nupoet64